Reasoning and Judgment

All through the world Science subjects are considered most important subjects in school. Out of these Math is the most. Because we like reasoning and we love to learn reasoning. For a mathematical problem there is a strong reasoning and we reach same result all the time whenever we do it. Reasoning is required in life, but the way we are brought up, we learn that there is a single answer to every question. With the changing examination type towards objective type the impression is getting farm to the student’s mind. But is life like that? In our life for most of the cases we need to do balance. We need to find an optimum solution, be it personal life or in office. It need quality of judging, which is not taught in childhood. I feel, that is the dark part of our education system which is causing lots of trouble in our social life.

For reasoning we need some logical blocks. If we know how to put the logical blocks properly, we can reach single and the only possible solution. But judgment depends on value system and application of the values for the problem. When we do reasoning we are pretty sure about the single solution and we need not be open to hear others. But if we consciously do judgment we know that there may be alternative solutions and we become open to listen to others. While judging, we know that your decision may not be the ultimate perfect one and there is always a risk of error associated with the decision, which we need to bear. If we put wrong logic we reach a wrong solution, but we become confident about the solution. When you prefer wrong value in judgment, you know different people may have different preference in judgment. Normally logics are specific to a domain and so have less influence in other domain. But influences of value system in judgments are wider. So once we learn from mistake, if it is a judgment it changes value system and influences wider future activities. This is called experience. That’s for experience is always given higher preference in life even not in the same domain.

Due to our over emphasis on reasoning in our childhood we tend to believe that whatever decision we take are based on reasoning, but lots actually are judgments. We do not know how to take a judgmental decision systematically and our value system is not strong and clear to us. So on illusion of decision based on reasoning we become overconfident on our decision as we think it to be the only solution. We close our ear to hear others as we think this is based on strong reasoning. We always feel fear about the incorrectness of our decision as we feel that this proves lack of our knowledge and logical incompetence.  If our decision is really proven to be wrong, we get a great shock as we were not open about the risk of the decision.

It is tougher to build value system and to teach to make judgment. But it has a better utility in life. Waiting for a time, when our education system will teach us to be a better human than a mere scientist.

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Right to influence not to force

Things do not go as we hope. Our kids do not listen to us, our spouses quarrel with us, our colleagues do not follow our instructions.  It seems the world is having full of opposite opinion with us. To make everything proper we need to slap our kids, raise the tone against spouse, threaten our colleague. What it results is our tension, dissatisfaction. We really do not want to be so harsh, but what else can we do? The rough attitude becomes part of our life and seems to be a disease.

 There is a suggestive medicine for this. Definitely this is not the only one and it does not equally effective on everyone. As it works for some people, you can try to check whether it suits you or not.

 You need to align others with your wishes, your dreams, your thoughts. There is no ambiguity that you will be happy only if it happens. You have to try for that. But develop a belief that to align others you have the right to influence but not to force. It may be little bit tough at initial days but cautious reminding at back of your mind during all interaction it becomes easier. So what are the things to do to influence? You are absolutely free. Do whatever you feel to be effective. Play with your kids, flatter your spouse, build personal relations with your colleagues. But keep one thing in mind. If you see that one of your methods of influence is not working, do not blame and charge them, why they are not getting influenced. This is again forcing. Rather think a bit and change your influencing technique. It needs little creativity and thinking. As you are playing deliberately and consciously the tactics with definite goal in mind, you anger will be much controlled and you will enjoy your life better with better success of other’s alignment with you.

Unnatural we

There are always some differences between two similar animals or plants. Two kittens of same mother are little different. Walking styles of two tigers are different. Two branches of same kind of trees are different. However similar it may seem, if seen minutely even twin brothers also have some differences. Creating this difference is the basic feature of nature. May be that’s for our nature is so beautiful so interesting. Otherwise it would have been monotonous. Darwin shown that, this difference in creation leaded to so many species in nature.

 But most of us in most of the time forget to respect this basic rule of nature. If someone does not agree with us on some issue we become angry. If our son or daughter listen some modern song that we do not like, we shout on them. If our mother or grandmother is talking about spirituality, we think it to be disgusting. We do not keep good impression about our colleague, who supports the other political party. See the other side – we chose your education stream same as our cousin brother who is successful in his carrier. We expected our spouse to be of similar nature of our brother or sister. We expected our kid to be similar like his/her class topper.

 If we try to give one orange shape of another orange with a knife, only thing that will result is the juice of the orange will be drained out. If we put little more attention to understand, variation to be the basic rule of nature, we can stop drainage of juice. If we accept this basic rule; disagreement, mismatches will not look so much painful and we can have more peaceful life.

Who is rich?

Interrogator : What do you dream to have?

Man: If I could have lots of money, I could have lived my dream life.

Int:  Do you have any idea how much you want to have dream life? Suppose you are offered to get the amount as you ask. How much will you ask?

Man: I want to be a billionaire. I do not have definite idea, but what I want is I need not have to think about the price what I wish to get.

Int: OK, I understand. So what do you wish to get if you become a rich?

Man: A big palace, a nice car, travels around the world, some good food which I like to eat. I want to have a relaxed life, no work, no headache.

Int: How big palace do you need?

Man: It should be big independent house, rooms should be spacious. It should have separate rooms for each of my family members and two for my guests. It should have a big study room for me and a big balcony with nice scenic view. It should have a tennis court, swimming pool and a back yard.

Int: How it will be if the palace be on an island while your palace is the only one.

Man: How shall I get the supply?

Int: No , that’s not a problem. When you need something special boat from mainland will be ready for you.

Man: Fantastic, that will be nice.

Int: Will you agree if you told to stay alone?

Man: Hey, what the fun to be rich if I need to cook for myself and do household work?

Int: OK,OK. Say chef,  maid , gardener etc will be provided. You do not have to do any work. Things will be ready as you order. Then?

Man: Then it is fine. But I shall not enjoy fullest if I stay alone. Without my family I shall not be happy.

Int: If your family is not allowed?

Man: Then what is the value of money if I can not keep my family with me. I can not call me rich if my wish is not fulfilled.

Int: I agree. Let your family be with you. I asked , because you did not mentioned about your family when you told your wish as a rich man.

Man: That is obvious, what is the use of money if I am not happy.

Int: Definitely. But if there is a clause that you can not tell anyone about your palace, how will you feel?

Man: But if any of my family member tells?

Int: No, if anyone other than your family member get to know about it, it will be taken back from you.

Man: Though it is bad, I can agree with it. But if you can not keep in touch with your friends and relatives then life will be boring.

Int: That is correct. You can go to main land and spend time with your friend and relatives, but you can not tell them about your palace.

Man: I understand, but I shall be definitely happy if I could invite my friends and relatives to my palace and show them.

Int: What will you be proud of? It is not your hard earned property, it is just by luck. Do you want to show your possession and make them jealous about you?

Man: No no , never. I shall be happy if I can receive my friends and relatives in my palace.

Int: Will you be jealous if you see someone with such big palace?

Man: No , no. I am not of that kind. And even someone be jealous that is quite natural.

Int: OK, how long can you spend time there? Lifelong?

Man: Yes lifelong, if I can be in touch with my friends and relatives. I need to talk to people other than my family, otherwise I shall be a psychiatric patient. Moreover as I told, being a rich I shall travel across the globe. I know you will ask whether I shall travel alone or with family. I want to travel along with my family.

Int: What is the gain of traveling?

Man: Enjoying the beauty of earth and to know various cultures.

Int: Yah, enjoyment is important. How if a private airline is arranged for you from your island?

Man: Is it a trap again? You will ask something else again?

Int: No no.

Man: Yes that will be definitely good and utilization of money.

Int: Yes you will have the comfort and no dependency.

Man: That is also a dream I did not mentioned initially.

Int: You will travel all the nice places of world. But if I say you to prioritize the list, what will be the first 3 places you will choose?

Man: NewYork , Paris and HongKong.

Int: Why these three?

Man: These are the most famous places in the world; I believe and want to visit those.

Int: But what the beauty of earth will you see in these concrete jungles?

Man: No, natural beauty is not there, but there is lots of things worth to see.

Int: Will you like to take your own chef and assistances with you, so that you feel at home even during travel?

Man: That will be fantastic.

Int: But as your private airline will be operated from your island, you can not tell anyone about the tour.

Man: But if you can not share your experience with others, half of the fun of travel is gone.

Int: You can share your experience in popular travel blog, or some unknown community, but not to your known people.

Man: Telling to friends and relatives are different charm.

Int: That’s true. Do you visit costly restaurants?

Man: Very rarely, I wish if could visit frequently if I would have lots of money.

Int: Did it ever happen that you could not order some items because of high price?

Man: In costly restaurant it always happens. We need to choose some cheap ones.

Int: Yeh, that the reality for all of us. Once there was a party from my office in such costly restaurant. We enjoyed a lot. If you get a free coupon from office for a buffet launch, how will you enjoy it?

Man: Definitely will try first for the costly items, then other items, as much as I can?

Int: Why the costly items? Do you think costly foods are always testier?

Man: No, we do not get chance to test the costly items and later we can guide our friends whether to go for some particular costly plates or not. Will you tell me how shall I feel if I am not allowed to share my experience with friends?

Int: No no , I shall not ask you such. I felt if your activities and wishes are restricted you do not feel that you are rich.

Man: Definitely, I told you that if you can fulfill your wishes without concerning cost that is the richness. Less your concern more rich you are.

Int: Yes, as I understood from you richness is a feeling of freedom to fulfill your wishes.

Man: Exactly

Int: But even rich person can not wish anything. If all the wealth of world belongs to a single person he will be the richest person, can he wish to kill half of the population of world?

Man: That is absurd wish. On humanity ground you can not wish such thing.

Int: If he wishes to have a visit to mars?

Man: That is also absurd because technically that is not possible.

Int: But his wishes are being restricted. Will you call him a rich man?

Man: Your wishes should be within a limit. Under the limit if you can fulfill your wish then you are a rich man.

Int: So if I go in other direction, if someone has small dream and if he can fulfill it will you call him a rich man.

Man: You are putting me in trap. Yes, as per I told earlier he will feel himself as a rich man.

Int: I have one question. Why did you think of one house, one car? Do you think all people will think similar to you?

Man: It depends on individual’s perception, conception, thought process. That’s for people are different.

Int: Correct, I feel it is feeling of the heart and every different individual is correct in his position. So your feeling of richness may be different from others.

Man: That may be.

Int: So if Mother Teresa says that she only dreams to help others and if she does so, will you call her a rich woman.

Man:  I have no other way to say Yes. I know I am in my own trap.

 

Note: This is our Indian philosophy of richness. This is one discussion we had in office with a colleague. I tried to keep as much natural as I remember. I feel the discussion will be resonating with most of the people.

 

Most of us have a vague idea about the richness. We do not know what exactly we want. If we analyze deeply, our wish to be rich is mainly to show off to others. We want to see others jealous to us, rather than using money for our happiness. Satisfaction from others’ jealousy is a kind of crude happiness. Happiness is the ultimate term in life.  So if someone can use his money to get his desired happiness then he is using money properly and is a rich man.